Here’s to a Happy and Productive New Year

As you ring in 2019, strive to accomplish all the goals you have set out. A new year means new opportunities. Every day attempt to do something new.

Also, do some unexpected things. Take a spontaneous trip. If there’s a job you have always wanted but felt you weren’t qualified, apply for it. If you are single and have always wanted to ask someone out on a date, do it. (Don’t do this if you are married. If so, you deserve to get your butt whipped.) Get out of your comfort zone and do something that is good for you.

To quote one of my favorite lines in Shawshank Redemption, “Get Busy Living!” Life is wonderful but short, so take advantage of everything that is out there. Be kind, helpful, curious, courteous, thankful, and many more positive attributes. Also, be Freaky! Take this last statement any way you want.

Enjoy the new year and enjoy life. You only get one so live it up.

Let’s Talk More

Comedian and Saturday Night Live member Pete Davidson recently posted on Instagram he was having severe emotional problems. His post caused many celebrities to post messages of support on Instagram. Posting messages of support is an okay gesture, but as a good friend of mine said why don’t these people call him or visit him. If you are really concerned about his well-being, don’t coward behind a keyboard on your phone or computer – call or visit. Talk to him.

And this goes anyone. If you have a friend who seems distraught, don’t text or post a message on social media. Talk to them directly. Just hearing your voice and knowing that you are concerned might make all the difference.

Social media is useful, but it also has made us a society that doesn’t know how to verbally communicate with one another. I admit I am guilty of texting too much. As the 2019 approaches, I pledge to use my phone to talk more. I encourage everyone else to do the same.

Don’t Live in the Past

I recently heard a sermon that applies to everyone. The message emphasized that you should not let your past dictate your present or future state. Many people let their previous successes or failures guide them. You need to live in the now.

Don’t let your past successes promote an arrogance that makes you think you can approach everything the same way. Don’t let your failures cultivate feelings that you will never achieve anything in life. Every day is a new day and every day offers a new opportunity. Always strain forward to what lies ahead.

PETA Phrases Equals Ridiculousness

Recently, PETA made headlines for suggesting new words for phrases that have a reference to animals. Per this article in The Mercury News, instead of saying “Kill two birds with one stone,” PETA advises using“Feed two birds with one scone.” Also, instead of saying “Beat a dead horse,” PETA suggest “Feed a fed horse.”

As much as I love animals, I must say this is beyond asinine. You are worried about slogans that do no harm to animals and don’t even give anyone thought of doing any harm? What is even more ridiculous, the animal rights organization suggested the current phrases are akin to racist and homophobic phrases. Really? You have to be out of touch with life if you believe this. This mindset almost leaves me speechless.

People should ignore PETA’s suggested new phrases. If PETA wants to make a difference, it should ask citizens including its members to promote conservation and important habitat protection. Promote protecting the environment –that’s how you protect the rights of animals across the world.

An Apology and a Pound of Flesh

Comedian Kevin Hart stepped down as host of the 2019 Oscars (article in Variety) after negative tweets he made nearly 10 years ago about homosexuality were dug up by people that appear to have nothing better to do in their life. By the last comment, you probably know how I feel about this story.

I understand people being upset about his tweet but he apologized some time ago. The Oscar committee asked him to apologize again. He initially refused stating he had already apologized years prior to this resurfacing. Ultimately, he decided to step down and offered an apology afterward.

In my opinion, he should not have apologized a second time. Why wasn’t his first apology enough? The problem with America is that some people want their pound of flesh. It’s not good enough that you apologized because some bullies want you to do it on their terms. They want you to grovel and bow down to their will. That’s not right!

How many times does he have to apologize? If this comes up again, will he have to beg for forgiveness? We have to stop this foolishness. Accept his earlier apology and move on.

As I have said in a previous post, America is turning into a joyless society filled with angry people who aren’t happy unless others are miserable. We will never succeed in this society as long as we continue to tear people down for their mistakes.

Let’s do better! It’s time to have some compassion and forgiveness. If we can’t do that, then the next pound of flesh might be our own.

Break Away from the Norm

Why do people skate in a circle on a skating rink? Go to an ice rink, and you will find that most of the participants are following the crowd around the arena. It’s rare that someone will dare to skate in any other direction or scheme.

Here’s an idea, breakaway from the norm. Skate up the middle of the rink or zig-zag or skate in a diagonal direction. You may get some odd looks, but you are following your own lead. And by the way, this is an analogy for life.

Following the crowd makes sense in many instances, but you should always be your own person and do your own thang!

Put your phone down

Once again Kanye West has been called out for his lack of etiquette and frankly, ignorance. According to CNN, he and his wife, Kim, were attending “The Cher Show” on Broadway when one of the performers caught Kanye on his phone during the performance. The performer tweeted to Kanye that he might want to pay attention to the stage rather than look at his phone.

Kanye did apologize, but the incident underscores America’s obsession with the cell phone. I am glad the performer called out Kanye. It’s time for all of us to learn some etiquette. Here are my tips:

  • Put down your phone when having breakfast, lunch or dinner with your friends. Here’s a concept – look your friends in the eye and have a face to face conversation.
  • Put down your phone when you are walking in a store, sidewalk, mall or anywhere where a lot of people walk. Most times these people are not paying attention to what’s around them. That’s when a trapdoor should open up. Bing! Bam! Boom! That will teach you.
  • If you follow the previous bullet point, you shouldn’t be walking around a store talking aimlessly to the air. Yes, I am talking to you folks that like to carry on a conversation while shopping. Especially annoying are those folks who gesture while they talk.
  • Put down your phone when you are in the theater, at a play or anywhere where you are supposed to be paying attention to others. Calling Kanye – put down the bleeping phone!
  • And of course, put down your phone when you are driving. Many states and jurisdictions have passed laws prohibiting holding your phone while driving. Don’t be that idiot holding your phone when the police ride by. Put it down!

Our phone does a lot, but it doesn’t do everything. You can go for a few minutes or even a couple of hours without grabbing your phone. Enjoy the silence of common sense.

Wear Your Umbrella

Guys, if you are not married and are having sex, you should always wear a condom. Some guys say, “my pull-out game is on point.” Really?

Here’s a fact. When you are in the warm waters of the Gulf, nature takes over. You don’t know what is going on other than it feels gooooood (use your Halle Berry voice from Monster’s Ball). All it takes is a momentary lapse, and pregnancy is around the corner. Besides pregnancy, you put yourself and your partner at risk of disease. That’s just stupid!

And women, you should always want your partner to wear a condom. In Pam Grier’s memoir, My Life in Three Acts, she talks about dating Richard Pryor. During that time, they were having unprotected sex. Apparently, Pryor liked to put cocaine on his penis before intercourse. During a checkup, her doctor noticed a buildup of cocaine residue in her system. Her doctor told her this was putting her health at risk. When Grier asked Pryor to use a condom, he refused. She stood her ground, and they ended their relationship. Moral of the story, if your partner refuses to wear a condom, it means he doesn’t care about you or your health.

I know a lot of this has been said before, but people young and old seem to be getting careless. I am all for freakiness, but I am not for reckless behavior. Sex aids (pills and medicine) have gotten better, and that has caused people to make irresponsible decisions. So guys, don’t let Viagra and other sex aids make you think you are invincible. You should always use your head above your shoulders before using the one between your legs.

Real Men are Interested in Independent Women

Apparently, Marcus Black, some guy on the reality show Love and Hip Hop posted an Instagram video complaining that real men aren’t interested in an independent woman – a woman who can hold her own in the house and in the workplace. Hmmm. First off, I didn’t know that show was still airing. As far as I am concerned, it should be called Bullcrap and Hip Hop – but I digress.

Second, only a non-real man would say such an idiotic thing. A Real Man would say, ‘Do your thing girl.’ A Real Man would be excited to have a woman that will challenge him. Of course, women can get on men nerves and vice versa – that’s never going to change. But a man who can’t deal with a woman because she can stand on her own two feet just isn’t a man.

As a man who grew up among strong, independent women, I applaud women who can handle it all. My grandmother (father’s mother) was as tough of woman as you could find. She took crap from no one, and my father emulated her. He was a drill sergeant in the Army. As tough as my grandmother was, she was just as loving. She took care of her family and made sure her children carried the moxie that made her such a great parent and grandparent.

We men have to get away from this old-school thinking. That thinking has led to some reprehensible behavior including sexual abuse and harassment, and domestic violence. Instead of being a jackass, you should be supportive and handle whatever she dishes out.

To some extent, men, in general, are intimidated by strong-willed women. Men are taught or used to be taught to be the leader, provider, and protector. I say ‘used to’ because there are a lot of sorry-a** men out there. It’s shameful – but I digress. A Real Man recognizes that his wife, girlfriend, etc., can have their own voice and the two of you can agree to be disagreeable but still come together as one.

Men and women are always going to view certain things – well, most things – differently. And speaking from a male perspective, at some point your wife/girlfriend/partner, etc., is going to say something that is going to annoy you and you will tune them out for a while. I am sure even in the days of the Neanderthal, a woman said something to irritate a man, and he just walked away and hung out in a Saber-tooth Tiger den for a few hours.

That’s just the way it is – men and women don’t always see things the same. It is the way we are made, but on this particular issue we men should swallow our foolish pride and be proud that we have a woman that will put us in check when we have done or said something stupid – which means she will be busy every day.

 

Get out and enjoy life

As the country remembers the life of George H.W. Bush, the 41st president of the United States, who died Friday, November 30, we should do something he suggested that had nothing to do with politics and everything to do with living.

He was an avid outdoorsman and once said years after leaving the presidency, “Get out and do something. Get out and enjoy life.”

His words should ring true to all of us. I know I need to follow this advice. Get out and enjoy all this world has to offer. Get busy living – find things you enjoy and do them. Also, take a chance and do something you always wanted to do and just didn’t have the courage or the time to do it. This means doing everything that is legal – don’t get it twisted.

Life is short so enjoy it while you have it.