Category: Grown Folk Talk

You would think men would be in favor of women finding methods that can help them be more sexually aroused, and ultimately get their freak on but it appears sexism continues to rear its ugly head in sex.

According to Fortune, during the Consumer Electronics Show (CES), the Ose, an adult novelty from start-up Lora DiCarlo, initially won a Consumer Electronics Show Innovation Award, but later the award was rescinded and, according to the company’s owner, representatives of the company were told they would not be allowed to exhibit at the show.

The Ose’ is a robotic vibrator that can reach a woman’s famed G-Spot. Reaching the G-Spot is like climbing Mount Everest.

In the past, sex toys made for men have been part of CSE. So, why not a toy made for women. You would think men would want women to enjoy as much pleasure as men. To me, the pleasure women feel can only help men. A more sexually aware and stimulated woman is a positive for both men and women in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom.

If you look at ads on TV and social media, you would think men are the only ones that have sexual problems. We know women have sexual desire and issues, but few toys or sexual enhancements are marketed towards them. You have to wonder if guys think their role will be diminished if women have toys, pills, and other sexual helpers. If a man believes his role will be minimized, then he isn’t doing his job in and outside of the bedroom.

It’s time for men to realize that a woman’s sexual gratification is just as important as his, and it will help their relationship in the long-term. It’s is time for all the companies in the business of assisting with sexual satisfaction – most are run by men – to devote more time and resources to women.

There shouldn’t be sexism in pleasure – only satisfaction for both men and women.

Guys, if you are not married and are having sex, you should always wear a condom. Some guys say, “my pull-out game is on point.” Really?

Here’s a fact. When you are in the warm waters of the Gulf, nature takes over. You don’t know what is going on other than it feels gooooood (use your Halle Berry voice from Monster’s Ball). All it takes is a momentary lapse, and pregnancy is around the corner. Besides pregnancy, you put yourself and your partner at risk of disease. That’s just stupid!

And women, you should always want your partner to wear a condom. In Pam Grier’s memoir, My Life in Three Acts, she talks about dating Richard Pryor. During that time, they were having unprotected sex. Apparently, Pryor liked to put cocaine on his penis before intercourse. During a checkup, her doctor noticed a buildup of cocaine residue in her system. Her doctor told her this was putting her health at risk. When Grier asked Pryor to use a condom, he refused. She stood her ground, and they ended their relationship. Moral of the story, if your partner refuses to wear a condom, it means he doesn’t care about you or your health.

I know a lot of this has been said before, but people young and old seem to be getting careless. I am all for freakiness, but I am not for reckless behavior. Sex aids (pills and medicine) have gotten better, and that has caused people to make irresponsible decisions. So guys, don’t let Viagra and other sex aids make you think you are invincible. You should always use your head above your shoulders before using the one between your legs.

Apparently, Marcus Black, some guy on the reality show Love and Hip Hop posted an Instagram video complaining that real men aren’t interested in an independent woman – a woman who can hold her own in the house and in the workplace. Hmmm. First off, I didn’t know that show was still airing. As far as I am concerned, it should be called Bullcrap and Hip Hop – but I digress.

Second, only a non-real man would say such an idiotic thing. A Real Man would say, ‘Do your thing girl.’ A Real Man would be excited to have a woman that will challenge him. Of course, women can get on men nerves and vice versa – that’s never going to change. But a man who can’t deal with a woman because she can stand on her own two feet just isn’t a man.

As a man who grew up among strong, independent women, I applaud women who can handle it all. My grandmother (father’s mother) was as tough of woman as you could find. She took crap from no one, and my father emulated her. He was a drill sergeant in the Army. As tough as my grandmother was, she was just as loving. She took care of her family and made sure her children carried the moxie that made her such a great parent and grandparent.

We men have to get away from this old-school thinking. That thinking has led to some reprehensible behavior including sexual abuse and harassment, and domestic violence. Instead of being a jackass, you should be supportive and handle whatever she dishes out.

To some extent, men, in general, are intimidated by strong-willed women. Men are taught or used to be taught to be the leader, provider, and protector. I say ‘used to’ because there are a lot of sorry-a** men out there. It’s shameful – but I digress. A Real Man recognizes that his wife, girlfriend, etc., can have their own voice and the two of you can agree to be disagreeable but still come together as one.

Men and women are always going to view certain things – well, most things – differently. And speaking from a male perspective, at some point your wife/girlfriend/partner, etc., is going to say something that is going to annoy you and you will tune them out for a while. I am sure even in the days of the Neanderthal, a woman said something to irritate a man, and he just walked away and hung out in a Saber-tooth Tiger den for a few hours.

That’s just the way it is – men and women don’t always see things the same. It is the way we are made, but on this particular issue we men should swallow our foolish pride and be proud that we have a woman that will put us in check when we have done or said something stupid – which means she will be busy every day.